Worst film you have ever sat through

[vanburen]

Use this thread to warn people how not to waste hours of their lives watching films that have no redeeming quality whotsoever.Now I know we all have different tastes but there is some shit out there thats not "so bad its good" its just proper boring/over hyped or assumed cult following.
I'll start with advising folk to AVOID andy milligan films unless you really do want to be bored to death.A title like The rats are coming ,the werewolves are here would normally bring a teeny bit of horror to a film but christ almigty,ive just sat through it and its BORING.I repeat BORING.Its not the first 'film' ive seen of his so i should have known better than to expect more,which was not happening.Shoot me me down in flames any AM fans but give me Dwain Esper any day.any day.any day.any day.any day..........:)

[Harold Monroe]

i found last man standing to be one of the most boring things i ever saw.

[Rollo Yates]

If you haven't noticed I can watch just about anything and find something to enjoy in it, but I still have standards. I won't get into my definition of cinematic solecisms, but I know within 5 minutes of any given movie if I'll hate it, and if I do I change the channel. I save myself some undue grief this way. I also never go to the theater anymore as I'm not paying to walk out. But enough of that, on to the stinkers: 28 Days Later can suck the sperm out of a dead man's balls. If given the choice of watching Ichi The Killer again or 1 and a half hours of dry heaves, you'll catch me in the lavatory. The Passion Of Christ is enough to make me find Satanic Sluts attractive and Norwegian black metal enjoyable. But there isn't a septic tank on Earth that wouldn't backup on the feculant Blair Witch Project. I must admit I find some folks rancor for a filmmaker that has wasted their precious time rather humorous, but really, I hope the director, and all obviously on the take reviewers for that one are damned to an eternity of latrine duty in Iraq.

And give me Andy Milligan AND Dwain Esper (and Barry Mahon, Ed Wood, and Doris Wishman too).

[viva la gore]

If you haven't noticed I can watch just about anything and find something to enjoy in it, but I still have standards. I won't get into my definition of cinematic solecisms, but I know within 5 minutes of any given movie if I'll hate it, and if I do I change the channel. I save myself some undue grief this way. I also never go to the theater anymore as I'm not paying to walk out. But enough of that, on to the stinkers: 28 Days Later can suck the sperm out of a dead man's balls. If given the choice of watching Ichi The Killer again or 1 and a half hours of dry heaves, you'll catch me in the lavatory. The Passion Of Christ is enough to make me find Satanic Sluts attractive and Norwegian black metal enjoyable. But there isn't a septic tank on Earth that wouldn't backup on the feculant Blair Witch Project. I must admit I find some folks rancor for a filmmaker that has wasted their precious time rather humorous, but really, I hope the director, and all obviously on the take reviewers for that one are damned to an eternity of latrine duty in Iraq.

And give me Andy Milligan AND Dwain Esper (and Barry Mahon, Ed Wood, and Doris Wishman too).

I like everyone of those films above. Guess it wouldn't be a good idea us pair having a movie night.
Beware of Bone Sickness the worst film ever!

[Fuad Ramses]

I can agree with Bone Sickness being particularly awful. I'm pretty sure the graveyard scene was filmed in someone's spare bedroom.

Another piece of absolute tripe is Blitzkrieg:Escape From Stalag 69

[Rollo Yates]

I like everyone of those films above. Guess it wouldn't be a good idea us pair having a movie night.

You might be right there, but if you're ever in the States and you're game for a Jerry Warren marathon, you look me up. ;)

[HammerDave]

Always amuses me when people tell me something is "the worst film EVER!" particularly when it's just some crummy blockbuster. Think Catwoman is the worst film ever? Then I invite you to try young Timothy Dalton fawning over ancient Mae West in Sextette (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078238/). Jonah Hex? Nothing compared to the agony that is The Terror of Tiny Town (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0030845/)...

[thehamish]

Repo: the genetic opera....lasted 23 minutes...and i loved Happiness of the Katachuris. The Dead Pool...christ my eyes needed scrubbing after this one...i have an asian thing called Dolls..its an acquired taste ie everyone ive lent it to had said "...too long, boring, blah blah blah..." personally i think its lovely....and I spit on your grave redo...D O N T waste your time on this tripe....

[Fuad Ramses]

I want to add Header to the list of abominations.

[Pricey]

Maybe Baby - went on a date to the Odeon west end to see this. Fucking atrocious!

[PJB]

The Comic - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088942/

We saw this at an all night film festival in London back in the 80's. It's the only time I've ever heard an audience groan whenever the film continued just when you hoped it would end. :eek:

[Rollo Yates]

Brad Pitt's immensely irritating mugging in 12 Monkeys rendered that one a painful experience. What the fuck was Gilliam thinking?

[thehamish]

The Comic - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088942/

We saw this at an all night film festival in London back in the 80's. It's the only time I've ever heard an audience groan whenever the film continued just when you hoped it would end. :eek:

i love this, precisely because of that haha, il be digging it out for a double bill with OF UNKNOWN ORIGIN (man terrorised by rat, well i think thats what its about, fell asleep during it)

[Paul Moran]

I've not actually seen it, but I think Andy Warhol's 8 hour documentary "Empire" (1964) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196530/) might be a strong candidate!

Here's a quote from the New York Magazine review (http://nymag.com/nymetro/arts/art/10422/): "...In three reels, they started before they turned the lights back off, so you can see a reflection of Warhol and Mekas in the window. No one had ever mentioned that before. Probably no one ever had sat through the whole thing.”

As a Criterion completist, I've sat through several films I would never have considered buying on other labels. The most recent borefest was the "Letters from Fontainhas: Three Films by Pedro Costa" box set. (Yes, I know the critics loved them.) I'm really glad that Masters of Cinema - another label I collect - seem to have abandoned their plans for a UK release of 2 of the films.

[vanburen]

As a Criterion completist.....
Can you expand a bit on that ?

[Kel E]

Having taken a couple of film history classes I had to sit through a few really bad ones, especially Canadian slice of life dramas.

The Drylanders, Deep Sleep, Why Shoot the Teacher? and Night Zoo come to mind. But the Jean Luc Godard film Weekend was probably the worst/most famous film -- I had to watch it twice!

I also saw a Buster Keaton comedy in one of them--rather irritating because people were slapping their legs and laughing hysterically at the ol dynamite stick substituted for a candle gag, which I had seen a hundred times in cartoons. By then it just wasn't so hilarious.

[Rollo Yates]

I really like Weekend. My favorite scene:
8KrHzQLdoH8
"He was handsome, young and rich. He had the right over the fat ones, old ones, poor ones."

[vanburen]

I like Weekend too,but I never watch the scene with the pig....:mad:

[tobiaswragg]

Godard's one of my favourite filmmakers and Weekend is probably my favourite of his films.

[Kel E]

If I ever have to watch it a third time I'll let you know so you can take my place!

[tobiaswragg]

Ha ha! I concede that, like most, if not all, of Godard's oeuvre, the film is very much an acquired taste.

[bigandya]

Being There positively bored me shi**ess :)

[claire]

Some good choices already.

Blair Witch - irritating annoying shit

Last Man Standing - what an inspired choice Harold, it really is fucking tedious

For me:

Crash (Cronenberg)
Holla If I Kill Ya (the worst Scream rip-off)
Fame remake
January Man - great cast, wank film

I'll think of more

[Laur]

lol there are so many awful movies around... ok let's start

homo faber - very boring oedipus story

slice - it starts as moral movie about gene experiments and ends as disgusting horror movie - the come to life gene experiment first has sex with his father, than it turns into a "man" and has sex with his mother and it doesn't make any sense

lilo & stitch - a children movie with no story, no content, no clue and I didn't even find it funny

the medaillon - a jackie chan movie, should be good then, but it's the worst ever, the story is nonsense the characters flat and the action in it booring

[thehamish]

thought of some mair....Tommy, love ken's work usually but when clapton turns up it just puts me in a coma...Erotic nights of the living dead...never before has a title promised so much, and delivered so little...i also cant stand Faceless...if i want to watch interminably long disco sequences, il dig out Cant Stop the Music or Prom Night...STOP PRESS after rewatching FACELESS, ive reevalued my opinion....

[cbradfordshreds]

Mmm, I could immediately say every Bond film I have ever seen. I hated Burn After Reading with a real passion. Eh, I've already slagged it off elsewhere, but my most recent 'absolutely loathe' experience was Inception. Grr.

[20 Years]

I would have to say one of the worst if not the worst would have to be Human Centipede, i felt numb after watching this atrocious movie.
The acting was mind fryingly bad and just about everything else in the movie.
How do they get this stuff released its beyond me.

[Wes Moynihan]

Sometimes the so-bad-it's-good tag only goes so far - I thought Psycho from Texas, Shriek of the Mutilated and Octaman were pretty bad - I just found them a slog to sit thru, even though I like that no-budget 70's ambience...

[jayzus]

Currently its red Riding Hood and Beastly

[thehamish]

watching The Beyond at the Dundead festival. print looked fine, just started skipping and freezing. not good enough.

[viva la gore]

Currently its red Riding Hood and Beastly
The same actor in Beastly stars in I Am Number 4 which I surprisingly liked. My Mrs wants to watch Beastly, I'm gonna give it a try. I'll report back.

[Richard--W]

I've seen a lot of bad movies over the decades. I usually find some aspect of a film to appreciate or at least enjoy. At worst, if it's in color, and a talkie, and uninterrupted by advertisements, you've got my attention.

The worst film I ever sat through is Casino Royale (2006). It has no redeeming qualities. Strictly amateur night on a big budget. It was so arch. So obvious. So pedantic. So politically corrected. James Bond is an idiot savant who has to be followed around the globe by his M, who lectures him on how to be a better man and a kinder, gentler spy. Not only is it a bad James Bond movie, it's just a bad movie.

I'd rather watch the worst Jess Franco film. Franco may be inept, but at least he's honest about it.


Richard

[fatboyslim142]

I've not actually seen it, but I think Andy Warhol's 8 hour documentary "Empire" (1964) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196530/) might be a strong candidate!

Here's a quote from the New York Magazine review (http://nymag.com/nymetro/arts/art/10422/): "...In three reels, they started before they turned the lights back off, so you can see a reflection of Warhol and Mekas in the window. No one had ever mentioned that before. Probably no one ever had sat through the whole thing.”

As a Criterion completist, I've sat through several films I would never have considered buying on other labels. The most recent borefest was the "Letters from Fontainhas: Three Films by Pedro Costa" box set. (Yes, I know the critics loved them.) I'm really glad that Masters of Cinema - another label I collect - seem to have abandoned their plans for a UK release of 2 of the films.

Masters of Cinema Haven't abandoned their plans to release films by Pedro Costa as they have released Colssal Youth on DVD.

[drterror666]

Well, the last one has to be Terminator: Salvation. WTF?!!

[vanburen]

The Wicker Man Remake ! Now somebody is having a larf ! woo i dont like bee's ! Get em orf me......

[thehamish]

The Wicker Man Remake ! Now somebody is having a larf ! woo i dont like bee's ! Get em orf me......

hahaha.

Triangle. havent hated a film as much since Gamer, and i thought Creep was shit as well.
Thr3e...waste of Bill Moseley.
Live Feed....havent been as bored by sleaze and gore since Hostel 2.
AVOID all of these.

[Argento]

The Wikker Man Remake was rather turgid, but I think that could be said of most of Cage's ouvre. Last weekend my friends and I booked a holiday on and we ended up sitting through as many of the big budget Cage ones as possible. It would be impossible for me to pick which is the worst, but that weekend is my answer to this question. The worst film I have sat through, is any blockbuster with Cage in it. :)

[drterror666]

I only ever liked one film with Cage in - David Lynch's Wild At Heart.

[thehamish]

forgot to mention Super 8 as well, jesus i cant stress enough how bored i was by this patchwork quilt of a movie AVOID

[Leatherface]

Sickle: The Slaughterhouse Massacre - you can have no conception of how bad this film is until you watch it. All the explaining in the world by me of how irredeemably awful this film is on every single level would never do it's sheer horribleness justice.

[Argento]

Just to go back to my earlier Nicholas Cage point, it isn't quite everything he has been in that I can't stand as I quite like Rumble Fish, Raising Arizona, Wild at Heart, Bad Lieutenent and Leaving Las Vegas. But basically if you look at his filmography then everything from 1996 onwards is trite except for Bad Lieutenent and Adaptation at a push.
Also I can only apologise for spelling it Wikker Man in my earlier post.

[drterror666]

I went to the cinema to see Con Air and I don't think I'll ever get my money back!

[thehamish]

new Straw Dogs. when they "remake" them to this poor a standard, i feel NO guilt about watching torrents....made me feel generous about The Thing....

[drterror666]

There are probably only a few 21st century remakes that are worth a toss. The rest of them are toss!

[thehamish]

There are probably only a few 21st century remakes that are worth a toss. The rest of them are toss!

was venting my spleen on another site, and this american "chap" said that i might want to watch the original if i didnt like the remake!!!!!!!! "it's pretty hard to watch, but a better film" were his exact words.

this is a film i have 3 copies of. 4 if i cave and buy the blu....
the remake will never affront my eyes again.

[drterror666]

American 'chaps' have no brain and tiny penises. Fact!

[thehamish]

indeed! twas the pompousness that angered me most. bomb them again hahaha.

[Dave Jay]

Have trouble getting through pretty much anything by Jess Franco - over the past few years I've happily turned off the following around the halfway mark (or sometimes before): SUCCUBUS, JACK THE RIPPER, NIGHTMARES COME AT NIGHT, 99 WOMEN, VAMPIRE KILLER BARBYS, CANNIBALS, VAMPIROS LESBOS...

I mean, you can't say I haven't given the guy a fair go! Some find his movies hypnotising - I find them interminable. The only two I've made it to the end with are FACELESS and JUSTINE, which were both reasonably entertaining, if unremarkable.

[Kel E]

Re: Live Feed
I was there when that movie was being conceived.
I met this writer-director who had made a Carmilla adaptation (or so he thought) and had sold it to a US dvd company.
He was worried that the company, which had him sign something that let them assume creative control, would alter it to make it bad-and then he dismissed his fears by deciding they wanted to make money so why would they do anything to ruin it?
His makeup artist became interested in making films himself-and LF was his first movie.

As for the other guy--the company he sold his film to was the Asylum and they changed the title to Vampires vs Zombies.

The worst theatrical movie experience for me was probably Creepshow 2. Should have skipped it. Worst movie I saw with an audience would be a Godard film as I have mentioned before. Ir something Canadian I was forced to watch in a classroom. Worst home viewing experience--too tough to say.

[thehamish]

only watched 25 minutes of LF before turning it off, looks like i did the right thing then....

[Angel]

Seen hundreds of truly awful films. Small selection:

Dhamer VS Gacey
Gut Pile
Curse of the Wolf
Kids Get Dead
Boarding House
Murder Collection Vol 1
Blood Tracks
Borderline Cult
Dead Eyes Open
The Flangly's
Backwoods Bloodbath
Followed Home
Necronus Tower of Doom
Ritual of Death
Pelt
Torture Me No More
They Made Him Do it
Squeal

[thehamish]

Seen hundreds of truly awful films. Small selection:

Dhamer VS Gacey
Gut Pile
Curse of the Wolf
Kids Get Dead
Boarding House
Murder Collection Vol 1
Blood Tracks
Borderline Cult
Dead Eyes Open
The Flangly's
Backwoods Bloodbath
Followed Home
Necronus Tower of Doom
Ritual of Death
Pelt
Torture Me No More
They Made Him Do it
Squeal

haha they all sound like Mortician song titles.....

[drterror666]

Mortician? What a bloody awful band they are! I bought one of their CD's a few years back, being into grindcore and goregrind, but they were just so b-o-r-i-n-g!!! Having film dialogue at the beginning of EVERY song is really amateur.

Or maybe I just didn't get it.

[cassandrova]

I have a huge tolerance for low budget dreck (Werewolf Vs the Yeti, Death Bed, Manos) and can usually derive some pleasure out of even the dullest horror movie, even if it's just laughing at the inept effects and plywood acting.

But what I really loathe are bloated big budget movies that really have no excuse to be terrible.

Elizabethtown jumps to mind. Two numbing hours of smug, vacuous twats mouthing platitudes to one another while Cameron Crowe shows off his record collection. I'd rather gnaw off my own foot than have to sit through that again.

[Dave Jay]

"Two numbing hours of smug, vacuous twats mouthing platitudes to one another..."

Which reminds me, I never made through more than 20 minutes of BEFORE SUNSET, either... :)

[johnhmaloney]

For me, there are two kinds of bad movies: enjoyably bad and just plain bad.
The worst enjoyably bad movie that I've ever seen is The Room. IMO it is one of the greatest unintentional comedies ever made.
The worst just plain bad movie that I've ever seen is Showgirls. The movie was so bad that I couldn't even enjoy the nudity.

[thehamish]

Mortician? What a bloody awful band they are! I bought one of their CD's a few years back, being into grindcore and goregrind, but they were just so b-o-r-i-n-g!!! Having film dialogue at the beginning of EVERY song is really amateur.

Or maybe I just didn't get it.

Twas that particular cd Chainsaw Dismemberment by any chance?

[thehamish]

50/50. felt like it was GIVING me cancer. pass the ammunition etc.

[drterror666]

Twas that particular cd Chainsaw Dismemberment by any chance?

Yes, I think that's the one. I do like my Goregrind, but I prefer stuff by Impaled and Exhumed, bands that took their cues from Carcass. Mortician have never impressed me. I suppose it's like Bristol's Amputated - they're a laugh live, but I couldn't listen to their CD's.

[thehamish]

Yes, I think that's the one. I do like my Goregrind, but I prefer stuff by Impaled and Exhumed, bands that took their cues from Carcass. Mortician have never impressed me. I suppose it's like Bristol's Amputated - they're a laugh live, but I couldn't listen to their CD's.

didnt have a problem with the music, twas the picture of them on the booklet that put me off haha.
Really liking that Torsofuck btw, been a while since ive heard anything that shrill haha, kudos!

[drterror666]

Well, at least that means they have another fan :)

[TheRoadWarrior]

curve ball~
BODY OF EVIDENCE
Madonna and Willem Dafoe.

Acquired this on VHS, and had to explain its place in my collection to a mate, "so many classic movies, but what's this doing in here?..." post-work cheap supermarket pick up... you slip sometimes.

[Dave Jay]

Can I add GODSPELL into the mix? Picked this up on DVD for a couple of quid recently 'coz I was in the mood for some hippy kitsch and... my god... what a truly hideous experience it was. Only lasted an hour of watching a bunch of old hippies acting like five year-olds in the name of the baby Jesus before I was forced to run screaming from the room. It really is one of those films that just practically begs you to put your foot through the telly. AVOID!

[thehamish]

Can I add GODSPELL into the mix? Picked this up on DVD for a couple of quid recently 'coz I was in the mood for some hippy kitsch and... my god... what a truly hideous experience it was. Only lasted an hour of watching a bunch of old hippies acting like five year-olds in the name of the baby Jesus before I was forced to run screaming from the room. It really is one of those films that just practically begs you to put your foot through the telly. AVOID!

Ha hahahahaa ah ahaha hahaha. sorry, have vague, but awful, memories of this on tv at xmas. Truly truly shit.
I hate Hair and JCS as well.

[MarcMorris]

Have you tried sitting through The Apple (http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00026L7P4/ref=nosim?tag=mondoerotico05)?

[thehamish]

Have you tried sitting through The Apple (http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00026L7P4/ref=nosim?tag=mondoerotico05)?

no, but the reviews are tipping the balance haha. Plus my musical mad mate will snap this up in a heartbeat, so it wont even cost me anything cough cough.
just watched trailer, my lord indeed.

[MarcMorris]

A friend of mine hosts The Apple (http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00026L7P4/ref=nosim?tag=mondoerotico05) screening nights. Honestly. It's so buttock-clenchingly bad it's a must-see.

[Dave Jay]

Have you tried sitting through The Apple (http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00026L7P4/ref=nosim?tag=mondoerotico05)?

See I love THE APPLE. Musta seen it 5 or 6 times. This is the big difference for me: THE APPLE is so bad, so ill-conceived and insane that it just becomes massively entertaining. GODSPELL is just... bad.



Do the bim.

[thehamish]

Right, screw it, il find a cheap enough copy. mates were nonplussed when i foisted it upon them (didnt tell 'em twas a musical);)

[Dave Jay]

If you want to see a TRULY awful musical, thehamish - one that can't even be enjoyed on an ironic level - try Al Adamson's CINDERELLA 2000 (1977). I tried myself last week, before turning it off at the half-hour mark 'coz I was sure the film was giving me a frickin' migraine. Now, much like others on this forum, I have a very high tolerance for crappy movies... indeed I revel in them much of the time. But damn, this was such hard work: the 'comedy' was painful, the music dismal, the acting below porn-level, the sets the height of '70s un-chic. And, to top it off, the DVD release was in the wrong aspect ratio, making this already bottom-of-the-barrel sci-fi cheapie look even more cramped and threadbare. Thoroughly exhausting.

In fact, I feel that way about much of Adamson's output. Outside of ANGELS' WILD WOMEN, I don't think I've been able to watch any of his movies in one sitting... they all look like they should be great, trashy fun but end up feeling so... draining. Tedious beyond belief, for the most part (I also recently turned off both SATAN'S SADISTS and BLACK SAMURAI at around the 20 minute mark... will finish them off one day but certainly don't feel drawn to at this moment in time).

[thehamish]

If you want to see a TRULY awful musical, thehamish - one that can't even be enjoyed on an ironic level - try Al Adamson's CINDERELLA 2000 (1977). I tried myself last week, before turning it off at the half-hour mark 'coz I was sure the film was giving me a frickin' migraine. Now, much like others on this forum, I have a very high tolerance for crappy movies... indeed I revel in them much of the time. But damn, this was such hard work: the 'comedy' was painful, the music dismal, the acting below porn-level, the sets the height of '70s un-chic. And, to top it off, the DVD release was in the wrong aspect ratio, making this already bottom-of-the-barrel sci-fi cheapie look even more cramped and threadbare. Thoroughly exhausting.

In fact, I feel that way about much of Adamson's output. Outside of ANGELS' WILD WOMEN, I don't think I've been able to watch any of his movies in one sitting... they all look like they should be great, trashy fun but end up feeling so... draining. Tedious beyond belief, for the most part (I also recently turned off both SATAN'S SADISTS and BLACK SAMURAI at around the 20 minute mark... will finish them off one day but certainly don't feel drawn to at this moment in time).

Sold!! Though is still say The Wiz has to be at the top of the pile, if only for the sheer major studio boo boo that it is....

[Kel E]

I liked the Wiz for some things--the scene in the subway with the weird puppets that grow into monsters is one scary visual in my memory.

Although I dont consider it the worst film I ever sat through I suspect District 9 will go up my list of hated movies as time goes on. Every time someone speaks of it in the same breath as the Thing or Alien or any other real movie I have to wonder if I watched a different version that seemed more of a half-assed comedy docu-drama than a serious film. I would bet money it was meant to be an improv comedy and when people took it seriously they decided to claim it had something important to say about race relations (all i remember is that Nigerian prostitutes were said to have had sex with cockroach aliens and then eat their body parts-they didnt specify if they were white or black Nigerian prostitutes lol). Its definitely on my overrated movie of all time top ten list. At least I understand the Wiz.

[Blink]

Sat through both originals of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes and wished I never did.:(

[drterror666]

Why was that, Blink? Because they haven't aged well or they're disturbing (especially THHE)?

[thehamish]

Burn the Heretic!!!;);)

[jacksmith1983]

For me The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes both still hold up as exceptional horror films, both of which fully deserve the reverence which is afforded them. However, if someone else feels differently, that's fine. Opinions are like arseholes, everybody has one.

[Blink]

Why was that, Blink? Because they haven't aged well or they're disturbing (especially THHE)?

Both films have bad acting in them (although with TCM not much acting is needed when you are wielding a chainsaw :D) therefore not at all convincing,however the two remakes were fabulous.

[jacksmith1983]

Aja's remake of The Hills Have Eyes is a fine contemporary horror film in its own right, the work of a filmmaker who is yet to make a bad movie. However, personally I found Marcus Nispel's 2003 Chainsaw remake pretty interminable. A forgettable modern horror film which not only failed to emulate the grim suggestive power of Tobe Hooper's 1974 original, but also failed to really deliver anything unique or special in its own right. I especially dislked the manner in which the character of Leatherface was relegated to a background presence in the shadow of R. Lee Ermey's screen hogging white trash "Sheriff". Stylistically and in terms of its murky, dark atmosphere I felt it actually shared more in common with Jeff Burr's disjointed, lacklustre Leatherface: Texas Chain Saw Massacre III than it did Hooper's film, which for me was not a good thing.

[drterror666]

Both films have bad acting in them (although with TCM not much acting is needed when you are wielding a chainsaw :D) therefore not at all convincing,however the two remakes were fabulous.

I concur with hamish! Burn the heretic!!! :D

[cloud]

Well Blink it must be said, your taste differs a lot from mine as I thought the original Chainsaw Massacre was FAR superior to the generic remake. The Hills Have Eyes remake was very good though and I'd say there's very little between that and the original. I thought the original was slicker, but the remake was more intense.

[TheRoadWarrior]

I too prefer the original films in both cases.

Not a fan of remakes generally but I did enjoy the beginning to the remake of Dawn of the Dead. It was fast and super-eerie if I recall, the world falling apart at high-speed. :D I have to say with "EYES" I tend to watch the special edition for the documentary THE AMERICAN NIGHTMARE more than the film itself, these days?

With TTCM 1974, I must admit, I think the old man's make-up has lost some of its authenticity and that grated somewhat with me. He looks very 'rubberised' nowadays. Apart from that little detail it's got a great atmosphere, camera angles, tracking shots, distinctive texture I've not seen elsewhere, a masterpiece in short.

It was always the least scary of the 'it's so scary don't watch it' reputations some films like it had atthe time but that hardly matters. I put off watching it for years and wished I hadn't. I was really impressed. This film is a notable gap in my collection, but only because I was relying on rentals. This thread reminds me that I still need to acquire it on dvd.

[Kel E]

I liked the boyfriend mask worn by Leatherface in the remake--that was a nightmarish bit.i have never seen the original Hills Have Eyes-the remake certainly had some horrific elements. I'll watch the original by the end of the year I think.

[thehamish]

I concur with hamish! Burn the heretic!!! :D

Fabulous?? what with R Lee Emery sleepwalking through another "southern" role, to the strange revelation that when you cut through someone's legs there is just goo inside, the redo of TCM is a mess. THHE i had nae problem with.
i stand by my original statement.

[thehamish]

speaking of shitty TCM wannabes, i had the misfortune to sit through Gnaw (2008). AVOID. what i feel they wanted was an english TCM, what they end up with is cliche after cliche. P A S S.

[Blink]

Fabulous?? what with R Lee Emery sleepwalking through another "southern" role, to the strange revelation that when you cut through someone's legs there is just goo inside, the redo of TCM is a mess.
i stand by my original statement.

Indeed,the remake was fabulous but each to their own I guess,I would watch it more than I ever would with the Original.

[Rollo Yates]

If you want to see a TRULY awful musical, thehamish - one that can't even be enjoyed on an ironic level - try Al Adamson's CINDERELLA 2000 (1977). I tried myself last week, before turning it off at the half-hour mark 'coz I was sure the film was giving me a frickin' migraine. Now, much like others on this forum, I have a very high tolerance for crappy movies... indeed I revel in them much of the time. But damn, this was such hard work: the 'comedy' was painful, the music dismal, the acting below porn-level, the sets the height of '70s un-chic. And, to top it off, the DVD release was in the wrong aspect ratio, making this already bottom-of-the-barrel sci-fi cheapie look even more cramped and threadbare. Thoroughly exhausting.

In fact, I feel that way about much of Adamson's output. Outside of ANGELS' WILD WOMEN, I don't think I've been able to watch any of his movies in one sitting... they all look like they should be great, trashy fun but end up feeling so... draining. Tedious beyond belief, for the most part (I also recently turned off both SATAN'S SADISTS and BLACK SAMURAI at around the 20 minute mark... will finish them off one day but certainly don't feel drawn to at this moment in time).

I concur with thehamish, sold!

Also, have you tried Death Dimension, Dave?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP-sR_P_uJ8

[TheRoadWarrior]

That looks like it came off the back of Enter the Dragon.

[Dave Jay]

I concur with thehamish, sold!

Also, have you tried Death Dimension, Dave?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP-sR_P_uJ8

Well, good luck, Rollo! Don't say I didn't warn you.

Haven't seen DEATH DIMENSION - and not sure I'm ready for any more Al Adamson in the short term! Is it worth a watch?

[Rollo Yates]

I'd say so, but I'd tell you Blood Of Ghastly Horror is worth a watch and Dracula Vs Frankenstein is essential viewing, so you may want to disregard any Adamson recommendations I may have.

[tobiaswragg]

I really enjoy both those films as well.

[thehamish]

All solid recommendations imo!!

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS




Now onto the freaky animated mindfuck that was Where The Dead Go To Die (Jimmy Claus, 2012). As i've stated before, people will show me the strangest things just because i express an interest in "fantastic" cinema, the worst of this being Saddam's hanging (civillians, i shit 'em). Harumph!!

a charming/less tale of a boy and his dog (Lassie it ISN'T) with a whole heap of problems (spurred on by said dog) that mainly revolve around abuse of one sort or another, his unusual visual flair, imagine if Lynch had directed Silent Hill on a hanful of acid yadda yadda....this makes it sound more interesting but believe me, it's a real grind, maybe i was in the wrong mood, but felt that the outrageousness became Pythonesque in places (this is what i also felt about the last 15 minutes of Srpski btw) and with mate constantly asking if this would be passed by the BBFC, i thought "Nae with all this child abuse, cuts ahoy!!" Ahem. The director certainly had some nice touches (the eyes!! all those eyes!!)
But i feel with a wild enough script, the presentation doesn't have to be a mish mash of Grosz, Breugel, Gacy...see Todd Solondonz' Happiness imo.

Highly Recommended!!
If you want.....to clear the house on holidays......get a quick divorce......keep the kids quiet forever....piss off Saw fans

[thehamish]

AVP: REQUIEM. I can only surmise the reason that it was so flippin' dark was that when they looked at the rough cut, they realised "Christ! This is shite, whadda we do??" "We'll darken it ALL, then it'll seem moody...like film noir" Pity they didn't darken the script, so many holes. Why didn't Ittenbach direct this? That i'd watch now....

And the costumes were shit as well.

[Kel E]

Haha I liked Requiem. First for the shameless rip off sequences from other films--Predator, Aliens...I think it actually helped the fight scene by so closely following Predator and using the music.

Also the sequence in the hospital maternity ward-I have to say that was pretty horrific and pushed the boundaries of good taste or bad taste.
Also, funny that just about everyone in the town died..except the two brothers, and it was directed by two brothers. Hmm coincidence maybe? Not something I plan to watch again but I will never forget it even if I want to.

[drterror666]

I think you just have to remember it's a comic book style of film.

[thehamish]

I had the same problem with the shitey Darkness Falls, i was left thinking "didn't they have faith in their movie? do they really think that by making it moody, i.e. practically a black screen in parts, this will ENHANCE the experience??" Either that or i'm going blind haha. Made Predators look like a fucking masterpiece in comparison IMO. Ahem.

[TheRoadWarrior]

I had the same problem with the shitey Darkness Falls, i was left thinking "didn't they have faith in their movie? do they really think that by making it moody, i.e. practically a black screen in parts, this will ENHANCE the experience??" Either that or i'm going blind haha. Made Predators look like a fucking masterpiece in comparison IMO. Ahem.

Darkness Falls is pretty dreadful, but I like that transition to Las Vegas, where the music kicks in.

That's 10 secs out of 90 mins.